


from chaos choreographed

by hotmesslewis



Series: Lewis and Clark - Space Explorers [1]
Category: Lewis and Clark
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Crack, M/M, This Is The Silliest F'ing Thing I've Ever Written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotmesslewis/pseuds/hotmesslewis
Summary: Lewis and Clark, Space Explorers AU.  Basically exactly Star Trek, if Kirk and Spock were both captain and openly gay and in a relationship with each other.





	from chaos choreographed

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by my awesome friend's epic John Hancock, Space Pirate AU. I don't know if it's still out there floating around on the Internet anywhere, but trust me--it was so much better than this.

“I’m telling you, we’re not that kind of government ship!”

“Yeah, I know, Frenchie, that’s what you kept saying over the comm.” Space Pirate Captain Jack Hancock had considered boarding the ship with guns blazing, but decided against it. These days he only had so many guns, and each gun only had so much charge to it. Sometimes you had to conserve your resources, right?

And he was raiding a government ship after all; they were bound to have some serious heavy artillery. His for the taking.

He slapped the ruffled Frenchman on the back in passing.

“My name is not Frenchie!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know your name, do I? And that’s what I’ve been calling you in my head for the last twenty minutes, so.”

The little Frenchman drew himself up right and stood at his highest. Jack Hancock still towered over him by a good half-foot. “My name, sir, is George Drouillard.”

“Drool—” Hancock tried to imitate him, and Drouillard deflated a little.

“Just call me Drewyer. Everyone else does. Even the captains.”

The plural took Hancock by surprise and he glanced back at the men who had accompanied him on board: Sam Adams and, of course, Thomas Paine. “Capt—“ But his question was interrupted by the sound of swearing and boots coming from the corridor leading to the airlock.

“We _were_ in the middle of—“

“But, it’s _pirates_ , Captain Lewis.” A female voice, calm and cool, without panic.

“Pirates, _Jesus_ —“

“Oh, come on, Will.”

“ _Pirates_ , Meriwether, that’s the last thing—”

“And they could have waited another five minutes!”

“Captains, please.”

The three pairs of boots rounded the corner and came to face Jack Hancock and his small crew for the first time. Hancock took them in—a tall, leggy blonde woman in a short uniform skirt, and two tall, handsome men, one with a bright shock of red hair, the other with light brown hair that stuck up unprecedented directions. But the disheveled state of his hair was no match for the state (or, rather, lack of) his clothing—the man wore simply a pair of tight white breeches and tall black boots, a navy military coat draped around his shoulders and fastened at the neck. He was shirtless. The redhead had at least tried for some semblance of decency, though he was still adjusting his cravat when meeting the pirates.

After a moment of silent gaping, Hancock recovered his bravado and swept into a low bow. “Captain Jack Hancock, at your service, gentlemen.” His gesture indicated for his men to follow suit; Adams did, but Paine was far too distracted by the sight before him, his eyes tracing the lines of the brown-haired man's bare chest. Standing up right, Hancock glared back at Paine and spoke for the men before him. “I beg your forgiveness, the slow one back there’s not actually part of my crew.”

The man with the tousled brown hair turned to look at the redhead. “Is this guy for real?”

“Quiet, Meriwether.” The redhead clasped his hands behind his back and bowed his head slightly, the epitome of a military gentleman. “Captain Hancock, I am Captain William Clark and this is Captain Meriwether Lewis,” the man with the tousled brown hair waved a hand in vague acknowledgement, “and I believe that you’re aboard our ship.”

“Well, yes. See, we’re pirates.”

“I did tell them that,” Drouillard muttered irritably. The blonde woman glared at him.

“And you’re government. And if there’s one thing that pirates aren’t too fond of, it’s the government.”

Clark’s lips tightened. “Well, the government isn’t so fond of pirates, either. Particularly when they impede official government business.”

“Wait. Wait wait wait wait wait.” Lewis held up his hands and strode into the center of the room, doing a half-turn that set his jacket swirling about his shoulders. Jack wasn’t sure if he did this to command the attention of the room, albeit melodramatically, or if he did this to further show off his pecs and abs.

“Stop staring,” Hancock hissed to Paine.

“I’m not staring!” Paine hissed back with annoyance that betrayed his guilt.

Lewis whirled to face the gang of pirates and pointed a finger to them. “Look, I just want to get this over as quickly as possible, okay. Captain Clark and I were in the middle of something.”

“Something that you needed your shirt off for?” Hancock asked sarcastically.

“ . . . as a matter of fact, yes.”

“Oh. OH. Oh, Jesus!” Hancock’s hands were on his face as he rubbed his tired eyes down. “I honestly did not need to know that.”

Lewis hooked a thumb through the waistband of his breeches, which exposed a good half an inch or so of hip on one side. “You asked.”

“Honest to God.”

“Right. Did Drewyer here tell you that we’re a science ship, not really a government ship?”

“Well, yeah. But I mean, you’re got government emblems all over your goddamn ship.”

“Yeah. That’s because we were government outfitted. An exploring expedition, a peacemaking mission. So we never really had cash and arms and stuff like that, anyway, if that's what you're out for.”

“We ran out of whiskey like a year ago!” the Frenchman threw in.

“Quiet, Drewyer,” said the blonde.

Lewis continued as if Drouillard hadn’t spoken. “But we’re not even that now.”

“What do you mean? You’re not government any more or something?”

The redhead grabbed Lewis’s arm, and turned the man to face him. “Think about what you’re doing, Meriwether.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing, Will. I’m trying to save our asses from some batshit pirates who seem to think that we’ve got some kind of secret treasure or whatever aboard, and maybe prove to them that we’re more alike than they think.” Lewis turned back to face the pirates again. “About six months ago we left the zones we had governmental authority to explore. Captain Clark and I assembled the crew; we had a democratic vote on this, and the crew was allowed to decide whether we turned back or kept exploring onward, as Captain Clark and I both wished to do. Majority ruled; any of the crew who did not wish to go on with us was left at the last trading post inside our assigned zone.”

There was a moment of silence as Hancock looked at the men before him with new eyes. “You’ve gone rogue.”

Clark looked at the ground for the moment before straightening his shoulders and looking Hancock in the eye. “Yes.”

“We wanted to see the entirety of the universe. So we decided to, with or without governmental permission.“

Hancock looked at the pair of them a moment longer before stepping forward and offering his hand to Meriwether Lewis. “It’s a pleasure to meet you two,” he said, offering his hand then to Clark, “and you have my respect.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I take it that this means you will leave our ship be?”

“Oh, God, yes. I wouldn’t dream of touching the ship of such men as yourselves.”

“We appreciate it, Captain Hancock, sir. And I hope we have the good fortune to meet with you again someday.”

“Oh, I trust that we will. Someday.” Hancock grinned as he began herding his men out. At the entranceway, he stopped and turned back to look at the two men again. “One last thing—you’re _both_ captains?”

“Yes,” they answered in unison.

“How does that work out for you?”

“Very well.” Lewis turned to look at Clark, who was studying his profile closely. “Turns out if you put the right men together, they can share command quite well.”

“ _Quite_ well,” Clark echoed in a husky voice.

The last thing Hancock saw before exiting the ship was Lewis licking his lips and putting his hands on his hips, bringing them forward slightly, as Clark stared at him hungrily.

Which was good, because the second after the airlock had closed and sealed tight, Clark had Lewis pushed against the wall with his hips and his lips as the blonde and the Frenchman fled the room.


End file.
